The Masculine Energy Shift Every Leader Needs | Bodhi Aldridge

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Welcome everyone to doing business with a servant's heart podcast. I'm your host, Steve Ramona, and I'm thrilled to have you join us today. This podcast is dedicated to exploring the idea of doing business and living life with a purpose, serving others and yes, also achieving success. We believe that when you approach our we approach our work and our lives with a servant's heart, we can truly make a difference. We created this show for you because we want everyone to be motivated, inspired, and educated to make an impact in your world. Whether you're an entrepreneur, community leader, or simply someone looking to bring more purpose into your daily life, this podcast is here to support and uplift you. My guest is going to blow you out of the water. We can have such a great conversation in the green room. But while you're listening to him today, I want you to think about how you will serve today and what impact will you create with that service. It's important. Let's do it today. Let's not do it tomorrow. Let's get started today. With that being said, my guest is international across the big ocean in Australia. Love their accents, by the way. I wish I could copy it because I know I'd be a better person, but that's okay. I'm still a good person without the accent. But we're going to talk about energy from male perspective and the way we can work and use that to our advantage in business and life. Because I think there's a crossover every time. Bodhi, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Oh, thank you so much, Steve. Yeah, what a delight to be here. And to the listeners, you know, what a beautiful uh podcast theme, you know, servant, heart, and purpose. Love it.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Love the name Bodhi too. If I had a boy, I would pick. I don't know. I think I'd be B-O-D-E, but Bodhi's such a great name. Fits you so well.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

As a surfer, some of the some of the listeners wouldn't appreciate the connection.

SPEAKER_02 2:49

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

So, you know, let's talk about because we're talking about energies and the masculine energy, but we we hear all the time the balance of work and life and balancing roles. How you facilitate a you're a father, a grandfather, a lawyer, a coach, a facilitator in your day-to-day life. How do you balance all that or work with it? You can't balance it.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Yeah, exactly. And it's it's a great um, it's a great inquiry, you know, that I've had for myself and for the listeners, because the the thing, you know, a lot of us have been taught to look at work-life balance, and inherently that can be a bit of a struggle because at one level life is always out of balance, yeah. Because you know, yourself, sometimes there's some business stuff you got to get done. Sometimes there's some time when you have with your family, sometimes there's time for yourself, for contemplation, for a prayer. And what I teach is more about flow. So one of the key practices I teach is present, embodied presence. You know, I think we all know the concept that being in the moment is where everything happens. And in this busy world, you know, one of the courses I run is called distraction to presence. Because a lot of us are very distracted. We're distracted by emails, we're distracted by social media, and so when you learn to get more present, flow is just present in action. Yeah, that's all it is, is from this place of presence, how do one move forward? And so for me to answer your question, I I stay more in the flow than trying to compartmentalize my day. Um, the analogy I use, Steve, is so Apollo 11, when it went to the moon, was never on a straight line, it was always cause correcting. Yeah, it's constant, and that's life. Yeah, like we're constantly cause correcting. And when we listen to ourselves, listen to our intuition, listen to our heart, and get into that flow, we know there are times a big deadline at work, you've got to lean in a bit, you know, you've got to get that done. And there are times that you make sure that you have time with your beloved or with your children. And so to me, it's it's more about doing your best to stay in flow as opposed to the content of work-life balance. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 5:29

Makes a lot of sense. It's the best answer I've heard over 400 shows. Not everybody asked that question, but that's a big top. But you're right, you're course correcting. Life's going good, work isn't, course correct. Oh, life's going bad. Okay, cool. You know, like I say all the time, CEO's going through a divorce, that's gonna affect his business. How much he lets him, he needs somebody like you or a coach or something, a pastor, whatever it is, to course correct and make sure he stays on top of his business and doesn't let that get away from him. And that's where somebody like you is powerful. But the other part of that that I love that you do is I call this ABL, always be learning, but that lifelong learning journey that you're going on of self-development, how has that influenced men?

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Yeah, it's it's again, you know, thank you for the inquiry. The the studies around aging and the studies around health, um, you know, and and putting putting together some of that, some of some fascinating studies. So, you know, they studied different communities where people were aging well, uh, keeping their spark. One of the qualities they found with people who age well, and I'm talking people into their 80s and 90s, is they were lifelong learners, they had a constant inquiry and curiosity for life. Yeah, this journey. The other key was they had healthy relationships, you know, community, beloved, children. And so for me, you know, when I work with men, we talk about the hero's journey, and on the hero's journey, you know, through all our trials and tribulations of men and business and money and family, the hero actually returns back to innocence, returns back to play, returns back to wonder and awe and inquiry. Yeah, and so for me, it's such a beautiful quality again to constantly know there's something else to experience, to learn, to grow. It kind of keeps me young, I think. Um, and it and it's an interesting just on that topic, Steve. Um, there was a book published, and we'll put it in the show notes, uh a palliative care nurse um from Australia, actually, who she for 10 years she was just talking to people as they were passing over. And she wrote a book called The Five The Top The Five Regrets. And the number one regret for the people she spoke to was I didn't live my life, I lived everybody else's life.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Yeah. Just feel that, and for the listeners, yeah, for the listeners, just feel that possibility of living your true life in in respect and service of others.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

It's so great to hear it now than before you die. You know, that's a message that it could be too late, right? You're you're going, oh my god, I live everybody's life like these people are telling her, there's nothing they can do about now, they're dying is pretty much over, right? You know, to be pretty blind about it. That's a great message.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Yeah, I think number three was I wish I had more fun and joy, you know, laughed more. Um, and so when I work with men and and the masculine and and feminine energy, the the interesting thing for the stereotypical, and this isn't based on gender, it's just most men are more in their masculine energy. There's the masculine feminine energy which runs through all of us, runs through the universe. A lot of men as a generalization have you know basically conformed, they've conformed to a model of life, yeah, which they think quote unquote, you know, is the way they should be. Um, you know, for me, you know, when I finished school, you know, my mum was a single mum, and I said, What do you think I should do? She said, Go to law school, go and become an attorney. And, you know, I did that, I did that quite successfully for 20 years, but I knew there was something else I wanted to express. And that's when I transitioned into this work. And so for any of the listeners, when we when we come back to purpose, it's not about changing the external world, leaving your job, leaving your your relationship, it's realizing that are you living life fully? You know, one of the tenets of the work I do, it's not about doing what brings you joy, it's about bringing joy to what you do. Have you cultivated joy from the inside out? Have you cultivated play? Have you cultivated passion? You know, because these qualities are in us, you know, leadership's an inside out guild. And you know, for a lot of men I work with, that's what I want them to reconnect the joy, I want them to reconnect with passion, I want them to reconnect with you know the play in them they can bring to their beloved, they can bring to their families, and ultimately to business, being of service to their customers and stakeholder.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

Yeah, and it's in America, it's been a it's been a problem on my bad 50s, 60s, and 70s. You know, he worked 12 hours a day. That's a badge of honor. And that's not a badge of honor, it's not. I used to, I'm like my dad, I could work all day. But my lovely wife, and you know, people tell me, like you're saying, and coaches like you say, hey, enjoy life, enjoy the world, enjoy nature, and all that. It makes a huge difference. And you're talking about these five regrets. I think of the blue zone. I've watched some documentaries that talk about these areas where 100-year-old people are living beautiful lives to 110 or 15. Relationship was part of it, and movement. Did they watch what they ate? They probably ate less because they're older, but relationships and community that was the other word that I heard. So thank you so much. You're a remarkable man because you've traveled the world. You've done a lot of travel. How's that shaped your ability to support and influence organization, or companies, and leaders?

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've worked, you know, with you know, most of the senior organizations around the world, usually with either executive teams or individuals. What fascinated me, having worked in, you know, over 20 countries, is and I I get you know, I've been yeah, I've been asked this by different um you know coaches and clients, at one level, Steve, you know, when you when you're in a different culture, obviously there are certain nuances and behaviors and rituals that are there to respect and to honor and to learn. Yet, in my experience, underneath it all, as a human species, we all want the same. We all want a sense of belonging, we all want a sense of safety, we all want a sense of purpose. And so when I walk into a boardroom, I know underneath all of the cultural differences, there's a human being on the other side of the desk who wants what I want. And when I remember that and connect at that level, you know, being of service with an open heart, um the magic happens really.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

Yeah, yeah. And that's such a good point, uh, Bodhi, because breaking people down were human. I I like I say, everybody has a servant's heart, whether the user or not, is uh it's up to him. Whether somebody's gonna have a soul or not, we all have souls, it's just whether we let it out negatively or positively. And that's such a great premise to come into a boardroom like that and go, okay, these are all humans. And what a lesson to you, audience. When you go do a sales call or talking to people about sales, they're just human. They say no, you've done nothing wrong. You move on, shake hands, uh whatever it is, and you you know, I always say next, so I love that perspective. Now you live on the beach, Byron Bay. I'm seeing sounds idyllic, sounds beautiful. How's that influence your work and personal philosophy living in such beautiful nature?

SPEAKER_00 13:58

Yeah, yeah. For me, again, if you think about um presence and flow, so embodied presence, which is one of the foundations, the three foundations of what I teach um leaders and particularly male leaders and business owners is the three legs of the stool for the masculine are presence, purpose, and passion, and embodied presence. So, what we know, Steve, is that everything is frequency and vibration. Yeah, so Nikola Tesla, you know, the scientists, it's interesting. I often say, Steve, the scientists, it's if the scientists went for a walk one way and the spiritualists went for a walk another way, and they both ended up at the coffee shop and agreed on the same thing. Yeah, it's like that's a green image, you know, yeah, yeah, exactly. If you ask any scientist, yeah, they'll agree everything is frequency and vibration. And if you ask any spiritualist, you mean any faith-based um believer, it's the same. And so when you when you really lean into that and go, okay, so if I am frequency and vibration, I am a certain energy, so are you, so is the internet, so is getting on the subway. Um to me, the our natural state at the frequency level is when we're in nature. So Mother Earth vibrates at a certain um megahertz, which is our actual natural state. And obviously, with busyness, with traffic, with business, with emails, you know, we lose that, you know, we lose that presence, we lose that vibration. And again, it's not good or bad, yet what I encourage people to do is remember most listeners or most people I talk to go, I I've had an experience in nature where I just connect, felt connected to something bigger, whatever you call that, God, consciousness, spirit. And so for me, living in a beautiful environment and being fortunate, you know, my wife and I have worked very hard, um, it allows me to stay closer to that natural state. It's it's like where you live, you know, and Northern California, you know, there's so many beautiful, and I think that's why we're drawn to some of these environments, you know. Um and so any of the listeners, you know, one of the things I say, if you if you want to go deeper into presence, one one way is to see if you can find a local park, if you can get close to nature, if if it's if the weather and allows you to take your shoes off, get your feet on the earth. You know, there's frequency and vibrations there all the time. And the studies around leadership, the most effective leaders, they mapped the most effective leaders, um, got them to map their behavior. And what they found in common is the most effective leaders all had a daily reflective practice. At least once a day, if not twice a day, they spent time in reflection. Now that that doesn't have to be cross-legged looking at the wall, meditating. It it's reflection, it's contemplation, it's prayer, it's presence, it's you know, the ability to reflect on and and who am I? And really reflect on yourself. How did I show up today? Was I the leader that I really wanted to be today? Yeah, or in the morning, you know, how did how do I want to show up today? Who do I want to be today? That reflection, that ability to get meta to just the doing and busy, you know, is such a game changer. And that reflection, obviously, if you can do it in the garden, if you can do it in the local park, if you can do it in nature, it definitely helps, you know. And I often say to any of any of the clients, if you can find five to ten minutes a day where you just sit in silence, no, no to-do lists, no phones, yeah. Your busy thinking mind will get anxious. 60,000 thoughts a day, most of them negative. Yeah. Yet if you're willing to just be with that, yeah, just train your body to just sit, just sit, just sit, five minutes, just sit. This busy mind, it's like a fast train, Steve. Yeah, if you want to stop a fast train, you don't jump in front of it, you just got to slow it down. And so if you can find that time to just slow it down, slow it down, get closer to nature, you'll see that your frequency and vibration will change, and that's where presence lives. And it's interesting in sales, you know, working with a lot of sales, high-performance sales people, because people actually buy based on the relational connection they have with you. And that comes from your vibration and your presence, the energy. Exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Yeah, and the Milo Angelo quote talks about uh I'm gonna pull it up here because I forget it, but I don't know if I have time. But she has a great quote in regards to how you make people feel, not how you do, how you talk to them, yeah. And she should, well, she shouldn't, but she can add your energy. How is your energy?

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Her quote is yeah, people don't remember what you say, right? They don't remember what you do, but they remember how they felt, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:42

And feeling is just energy, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Emotions are just energy in motion, yeah. You know, and E in science is just energy, so exactly, and that's the thing, and when you become more present, present with yourself, present with how you're feeling, yeah, then everything changes, you know. Again, the studies are clear, the most effective leaders, it's uh you know, that reflection allows them to create a relational field with their with their um workers, co-workers. Yeah, you know, leadership to me, so leadership, a simple definition of leadership for the listeners is influence. Yeah, and everybody in your business at some level is a leader because they're influencing the system, yeah, whether it's the person on the front desk, whether it's the manufacturer or the salespeople. And again, the the studies are clear, Steve, that the two keys to effective leadership are connection and direction. Yeah, all the teams I work with, they say I I am aligned to this business because I feel a connection with my line manager, the CEO. It's connection, connection, connection. If I don't feel a connection, I don't feel engaged. Yeah, connection is key, yeah, and it starts with connection with self. And the other is with direction, so many teams that I work with go, it feels like the goalposts are moving all the time. No one's telling me clearly where we're going or what they expected. And so if you can harness that in your business, you will transform your leadership.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you mentioned goalposts because you're a rugby guy and I'm a football guy. So goalposts are in both sports. So it's great you mentioned that. Thank you, uh Bodhi, because that really if you don't make it simple for people, I think it'll work. Sports, same way. You know, yeah, you're you're pro sports, rugby, football, it doesn't matter. But if they don't understand it, they're not gonna go do it. The action won't be done, and same thing with what you do too.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And uh What I say is a lot of this is simple, it's it's not always easy because we're quite conditioned and programmed and busy, and we have mortgages and businesses and expectations, right? Um, and so it is it's just how do I slow that train down a little bit? How do I become all present? Get to know myself, love yourself is as you know, the all the greatest teachings are you've got to really get to know about yourself first. You can't serve others unless you serve yourself, right?

SPEAKER_02 22:30

Exactly. All the big leaders, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Martin Luther, you know, they were all love themselves. They were they like what they were, love what they were, and that's a great point to make. I tell people, if you want to be a leader, ABL, always be learning, moral journey, and learn to be a leader yourself. Now you've co-authored an incredible book. I just realized you did this. Visionary Male Leaders. Incredible name, because I love visionary. Talk about the messages you were trying to get people to take away from the book.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

Yeah, and um, I've recently just come back from Five Weeks in Europe where I've been running workshops. I ran a workshop in Paris around the future of male leadership, and it's quite a sensitive topic. And again, for the listeners, and and maybe we'll have a follow-up um podcast, Steve, because it's a big topic. Um, you know, because a lot of people, it's it's not just about gender, as I mentioned, you know, and there's lots of conversation around gender, gender fluidity. Yet if you distill this masculine and feminine energy, as I've mentioned, um most men are more in their masculine energy, but there's a difference between your energy and the traits you can access. So, what I mean by that is if you think about a lioness and some a predator's coming for her pubs, the lioness is gonna rule and gonna protect. Yeah, but she's still a lioness, but she can access her ferocity, she can access her aggression, she can access those traits, and it's the same with us, you know. A lot of my clients, the men who are more in their masculine energy, yeah, but they can access their nurturing, their caring, their compassion. And so the visionary male leaders is about how do we, as leaders, yeah, men and women, and particularly the future of male leadership, because there's so much amazing work, which I fully support around empowering female leadership, empowering the rise of the feminine. I think it's crucial. Yet a lot of people hesitate to really talk about the rise of the masculine energy, because we've been so scared of the distortion, the patriarchy, you know, all of these things that we've seen, you know. And when I work with leaders, particularly men in their 40s and 50s, a lot of them go, where are the role models of being a leader? Because I don't want to be the way my boss was, or I don't, you know, you look at the political scene, you look at the business scene, it's like there's so much distorted patriarchy, and like anything, there's healthy and unhealthy in anything. So there's healthy masculinity and unhealthy masculinity, and so the future of my leadership is very much supporting men to access traits like um collaboration, you know, curiosity, AB ABL, is that what you call it? ABL. Yeah. Um, if if I just look at collaboration as one thread, um so when men in their masculine walk into a room, yeah, it and correct me if I'm wrong, Steve, it's all about hierarchy, it's all about linear. Yeah, who's got the bigger role, who's got the most money, who's who's the most handsome, who's the most fit, yeah. But that's just the way we process through that part of our brain. Yeah, yeah. When women walk into the room in their feminine, and again, these are huge generalizations, it's all about connection, it's all about who's in the room, what are the relationships like, what does it feel like? The feminine naturally wants to collaborate. Yeah, the masculine energy naturally wants to compete. And if we're really serious about leadership, particularly in business and politics, you know, men have to learn how to collaborate. Yeah. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 26:46

It makes a lot of sense because the other side is the woman that comes in and it's fearful because she's the only salesperson in a group of men, she's gonna fall under a masculine side and not collaborate and show her better car, better house, just to be in that hierarchy. And what has she done? She's switched over to the masculine side. That's a very, very, very good point.

SPEAKER_00 27:08

Scary. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I know. And working with a lot of female leaders, the biggest issue for working women over 40, particularly working mothers, is adrenal fatigue. They're exhausted, and part of that is because to the to get by in corporate, most of them have thought they've had to become more masculine, and it goes totally against their natural energy, their life force, their spirit, and they're just burning out. Yeah, they're just their adrenals are just giving up, you know.

SPEAKER_02 27:43

Yeah, we say in America, keeping up with the Joneses. I don't know if you know that phrase. But yeah, it's the same thing. Uh, well, you know, Steve Ramona there, he's working 50 hours, or I better work 55. So the boss sees, and I'm a you know, because I'm female, I'm behind, and it's not that way. I know a ton of powerful business women, and they're gonna rock this world like there's no tomorrow. Um, we're running out of time and I can't believe we've gone 25 minutes. What a great show! But I want to get a little personal because I love you, and we had a great conversation, like I said, in the green room. But if you're able to have dinner or interview somebody, who would it be and why?

SPEAKER_00 28:21

Yeah, what a great question. I've been reflecting on a few things. I mean, you know, in the past, Mandela, you know, the Tutu, um, you know, obviously the Dalai Lama, um, you know, and you know, I love my thoughts as well, you know, Muhammad Ali would have been amazing, Pele would have been amazing, you know. Then there's Obama and Oprah, and you know, like this. Um the first that came to mind though was Mandela. And and the reason, and I know you know it's interesting for the listeners, you know, my experience, you know, there's the light and the shadow in all of us, you know, and for all the amazing leaders and teachers, there's a shadow. There's a part of them that you know their behavior wasn't perfect, you know. And I'm not condoning that, I'm just acknowledging it. Uh, because I'm sure Mandela had a shadow as well, you know. Um, but the thing the thing that inspires me about Mandela, and you know, freedom is such an important thing for the masculine energy. What what he realized was that freedom, a big part of freedom lives between your ears. Like for him to be incarcerated for for many, many years, and to be able to say, they didn't get my soul, they didn't get my spirit, yeah. Um, to me, yeah, it's so inspiring. And then to be able to, one of the great things with Mandela and in leadership is as leaders become more conscious, more aware, one of the skills is how do I cope with multiple agendas and bring people together? One of the divisiveness we see in in politics at the moment in business is people it's black or white. And one of the things Mandela was able to do, go it's black and white. And and where do we agree? Where do we align as a nation and you know as a business? And so those those qualities are quite inspiring for me. I'd love to, I'd love to have dinner with him, would have loved to have had dinner with him, have those conversations.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Uh sit right next to you and ask a lot of questions, and yeah, because he takes the or out and puts and and that that little change of just two words would be a game changer. So thank you for that. That's a great addition. How can people reach out to you, Bodie? I'm sure people are interested to learn more.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

Yeah, yeah. So I have a podcast called True Freedom, it's on all the normal podcast apps. There's also a free giveaway to any of the listeners will be in the show notes. It's www.free mini chord.com. So please reach out. It's five steps to freedom and flow. So I've got some meditations in there, I've got some teachings in there, and then my website, uh www.bodiealdridge.com. Um, there's plenty of resources there for the listeners. There's an opportunity if anyone wants to reach out, just reach out through the website. Always here to be of service with an open heart, my friends. Just like the beautifully said.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

See, that's why he was on. Thank you so much for for taking the time and and and educating my audience, inspiring and motivating them. Uh, also don't forget my TV show, Fridays, every uh every Friday, 2 p.m. Pacific, 5 p.m. Eastern. And you know, me and Bodhi want to thank you so much for watching or listening to this podcast. Please share it out. Comment on YouTube or podcast. If you want to reach out to Bodhi, you can't find the website, comment in the YouTube or reach out to me and I'll get you connected with him because I think there's so much that he could do for you if you think you'd want to be a better leader. Here's a great place to start. Okay. And as always, I say me and Bodie, thank you so much for watching or listening to this podcast. And we look forward to seeing you on the next doing business for the service part. See y'all.