Why Most Networking Fails — And the Formula That Doesn't | Carl Lucchi

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Welcome everyone to Doing Business with a Servant's Heart podcast. I'm your host, Steve Ramona. I'm thrilled to have you join us today. This podcast is dedicated to exploring the idea of doing business and living life with a purpose, serving others and yes, achieving success. We believe that when you approach our work and our lives with a servant's heart, we can truly make a difference. We create this show for you because we want everyone to be motivated, inspired, and educated to make an impact in your world. And wait till you hear about my guests. I just had a nice conversation with him. You guys are going to be blown away. And if you're an entrepreneur, a community leader, simply someone looking for more purpose in their daily life, this podcast is here to support and uplift you. Think about while you're listening to this great guest how you're going to serve today, not tomorrow, but today, and what impact will you create today. And I want to thank my sponsor. Today's episode is brought to you by an amazing sponsor, Pantheon Alliance. Picture yourself joining an elite community of thriving business owners from a variety of industries all working together to create a powerful referral marketplace. Do business and not talk business. It's an incredible opportunity to expand your network and elevate your business to new heights. With that being said, as always, I love my podcast. I get to spend five, ten minutes with my guests and learn about them. This guy's going to blow you out of water because I've not seen a bigger servant's heart in the five, 10 minutes I've talked to him. Carl, welcome to the show. Thank you. I really appreciate being here. Me too. I I want to jump in. I want to talk about I refuse to fail group. And we'll jump into your podcast that you're doing too. Talk about that group. What inspired it? What motivated you to start it?

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Well, I had a in 2010, I had a face-to-face networking organization called Tampa Bay Networkers. I'm in the Tampa Bay area of Florida, and it was face-to-face. And I kind of designed it after everything that I had seen other people do. And so as a result, it was no different than anybody else's networking organization and did the same things, right? And so I call that conventional business networking. And in 2017, I actually was sitting here at this desk and I was uh the hair on my neck went up. And being a business consultant, I thought, this is not working. Um, I understand that people are coming there, but they're treating it more like a trade show than an opportunity to, you know, find people they could refer or connect to other people. And so I quit networking myself in 2017 and I started going to other groups, and I just sat and watched more than anything. I participated because they wanted me to, but I just I more or less um watched what other people did. And I found that they were doing the same things or passing out business cards, doing elevator sales pitches, and you know, the same, the same thing every time, every week, over and over and over again. And when I was, I must have collected enough business cards, I could have wallpapered three houses. Okay. I mean, you can't take those with you, right? So I looked at all the things that I felt weren't working with networking, okay. And so I created a formula and uh that I was a little bit different, it's kind of unconventional, and I started uh thinking, well, maybe I need to test this. So I did presentations locally uh because there wasn't a Zoom type thing going on that heavy in 2017 and then COVID or 19 and then COVID hit, and I couldn't do it anymore. So then I got online, and as a result, I got to the point where I'm at now, to where I do this virtually across North America. Uh, we we do Canada and the US, and it's called I Refuse number two, fail. And uh so, and the idea, I mean, I got some I got some negative feedback. Oh, it's okay to fail, Carl. No, it's okay to fall, not fail. Um, you know, always go in with an attitude, you're not going to fail. And uh so uh that I did that almost on purpose because I sometimes I think you need to get people's attention. But the premise of the group is that um we kind of force feed what I my formula is for networking, and it's not everybody's cup of tea because a lot of people are out there coming to these events to try to sell. They treat it more like a trade show than they do a networking, right? And I personally, as a business consultant in 2010, when I started the organization, the main reason why I did it was kind of you know, kind of greedy because you're not gonna believe this, but I don't know everything. I mean, I really don't. And and I figured if I was gonna help other people, I needed to have people that knew more or wanted to do things that I didn't know how to do. Okay. And so I figured if I networked, I could run into those people, I could, you know, connect that the people that I was helping, okay, because I do free business, I've been doing free business consulting for since 2010. I don't charge anything for my my consulting. And and um so um that's why I did it. But then I realized after a while that that's not what everybody was doing. They were going there to try to sell stuff, and I thought, you know, that's just not working for me. So the way this works is it's we call our weekly events that are free, uh, 1530 events. And the 15 is basically if you're new, you know, you come in and in I interview Steve in front of everybody that shows up in the room, okay? And I ask you questions. And I ask most everybody the basic questions that I'm gonna ask every week, but then depending on what you do, I'm gonna ask you more directly about your podcast, about your business. And um, and then everybody else can raise their hand if they want, and they can ask something if I didn't ask all the questions. And I give them, you know, that's up to 15 minutes, which isn't a long time, but it's enough. Usually we go six, eight minutes, and we pretty much got a good idea, you know, of what Steve does, right? And then, and then the 30 is where we then have breakout rooms, and everybody can select one person and they can have a breakout with that person to further their conversation and hopeful relationship with that person. And hopefully they're doing it not to find out what kind of cake they eat or what kind of movie they like, but we try to make it 95% business and 5% social. And uh, but we do joke around, we have a lot of fun, we jerk each other's chain, we you know, but that's basically what it is. And and uh, you know, I I just it's fun and people are starting to get it catch on, and the better quality business people are coming back, which means I must be on to something. So um, so you know, we're doing that, and then we we have a partnership that we have, and uh that's um not a lot of people, but I call it a partnership and not a membership because I think that I don't have all the answers. So that all my partners and all we meet, we decide what's going to make this better, how can we help more people? And that's pretty much the premise, that's the thumbnail of it.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Partnerships are the way to grow. You can't grow by yourself. I don't care who you are, Elon Musk or Steve Ramon or Carl Lucci. We need help. And I love that you do that because you know people know on my podcast I'm a big partnerships guy. Two words I heard from you free and fight the two X, yeah, missing in business. Why are you doing this for free? Because I know some audience members are going, you know, charge them $9.99 a month or whatever. Why is it free?

SPEAKER_02 8:08

Well, well, first of all, you're up against free. I mean, there's a lot of free out there, and people, you know, are not going to jump right in. I the partnership isn't free. I mean, there's I have a fee for that, but then I also, if they do what they're supposed to do, they get their money back. So it really is kind of like a deposit.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Um, because I and all I'm doing is just because you know, you find if if they don't have some skin in the game, they won't do anything, you know. They'll stay home and watch reruns of Golden Girls or something. And so I want them to show up. And so they know they have some skin in the game. So that's the only reason why I charge in the in the partnership, but it's not a large, not a big let me put it to you this way if you can't afford this, you're probably not in business. Okay. So so um, um, but it's not a large fee. But I don't accept everybody, okay. I turned 18 people down last year because they just didn't have the, you know, our we follow Zig Ziglar's philosophy. If you help enough other people in life get what they want, you'll get what you want. And that's the main basis behind it. But um, but that's what that's kind of what we do. Now, as far as my consulting, I get that all the time. Why aren't you charging for your consulting? Okay. Well, the reason why I don't is because I found when I first started in 2010, I thought I would charge. I don't want to be a coach. I'm not a coach, I'm strictly an advisor or consultant. And um I I knew that if I did that, I could talk to a lot of people. If I was a coach, I could only handle maybe four or five a month and do a good job. Um, but uh the reason why I did it free, I found a lot of people who are struggling really can't afford a coach right now. You need a coach, I'll get you a coach. Okay. But I can offer my 45 plus years business, you know, knowledge and uh hopefully save them maybe 40 years that I've spent. And I I joke about it, but I tell people I've spent over 45 years in business and probably made $450,000 in mistakes. And all I'm doing is trying to cut some of that time down and expense down for you. And and I'm just kind of giving back right now. I'm doing this because I enjoy it. Um, I'm kind of semi-retired, but I work harder than most people that are working, I think. But I but it to me it's fun, I enjoy it. You know, it's it's uh, you know, just helping people uh you know makes the hair on my arm stand up when somebody says, Carl, I did that and it worked. So that's why I don't charge, and um, that's why the events are free, because a lot of people are not gonna come if they know they even have to pay a dollar, you know. So at least this way we can help some people and hopefully grow.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

And the reason I ask that, because a servant hearts does that. I believe you should have free and you should have paid. I totally agree with you. You have a paid version, people are gonna skin in the game. And if they don't, they're gonna leave. You know, I love you, but move on. This is not a fit for you. So I love what you're because that's a servant's heart. You need value, get paid for that, and then free. You have to have both.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

I mean, I I make I make enough to pay me to do what I'm doing. Well, that's my next question is you're not homeless, you're not living on the street, no, and you're still giving your stuff away.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Audience, I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Yeah, I'm I used to be a financial planner, so I followed my own rules. And luckily, I we're gonna say I'm not wealthy by any means. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I've got three pillars in front of my house. But but but the thing is is that uh I don't owe anybody anything, and I don't my needs are not that great, and so I can afford to do this, you know. If I can't, then I guess I'll go get a J O B. But but I but I don't see that happening.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

And you see, you're always thinking ahead too, and you're not, but if you had to, you say I'll get a job. Oh, yeah, I'd do whatever I had to do. Yeah, exactly. We're both gray-haired guys, so kind of listen to us a little bit. We've been through the ringer a little bit a few times. Um I want to jump in because I love your expertise in sales and marketing, it is to me the backbone of a business. You get those two down, the HR and all the other stuff you can fix, but if you do this well, am I correct? You can start off a startup or a business much better.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Oh, absolutely. Um, I mean, the the I mean, if you're gonna start off, I mean, the the thing I say, I mean, is most important. Number one, research, for heaven's sakes. Too many people get shiny object syndrome. They say, Oh, I can do that, and they go do it, and it's a mistake. Um, and they because they didn't research it. So understand what it is. I will tell you that we just had a conversation. I told you about a podcast we're starting, but but we just had a conversation about this and it was about passion. And uh a lot of people are tossing around the word passion that if you're passionate, the money will follow. Um, I find that to be a big mistake, um, buying into that because it takes a lot more than passion. Passion's good, it's good that you love what you do. I'm not saying it's there's not a place for it, but um, I always tell the story that uh I really don't like bumper stickers. Okay. I'll read them on the back of your car, but I don't want to put them on my car. I mean, I love reading them on the back of your car, but I don't want it on my car. But you give me 10,000 people that want bumper stickers, I don't have to be passionate about them. I'm passionate about selling those bumper stickers.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

So, so I mean, passion, you know, is involved, but but you know, that's that's one thing is researching, knowing what your competition is going to be and what you know what it is, and then understanding that you're gonna work harder than you've ever worked in your life, um, you know, as an entrepreneur, but it's the most fulfilling thing because I call a job a J-O-B, which is just over broke, okay? But if you if you're an entrepreneur, the sky's the limit. You make whatever you want.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

And I like the your it's a beautiful analogy uh in regards to uh passion or your desire to want. Yeah, that gets you. Yeah, you get you out of bed, but it's not gonna make the sales calls, it's not gonna create some marketing, right? And audience, this is such a it's a million-dollar tip. He's not saying not to have passion. We both have passion.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

No, it's great if you are, yeah, yes, but it's not the only thing, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Yeah, so you have a you have a background of video and photography production.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

I yeah, I mean, I've I was always I used to call myself a jack of all trades and a master of none. I've I worked in the grocery business when I was a kid, and I worked for an amazing man called Publix Markets, and I knew the owner personally, and um uh he taught me a tremendous amount about business. Um, and then um I've done several different things. Um, and then I worked with the man by the name of Stuart Arnold, who used to be the former owner of the Auto Trader Publication, if you're familiar with that. And he sold that for an ungodly amount of money and went into television production. And he hired me as a business developer because he just wanted to develop a bunch of businesses within the television industry. And I worked for him for about 11 years until he figured that you know, he had four one million dollar homes, 105 foot. Yeah, he didn't need that, you know. So he just went away. And then I went home and thought I don't want to work for anybody anymore, you know. So I yes, I have a video and photography background. I did did photography in the 80s, um, you know, sailboat races, um, and things like that, you know, different things. So I've done a little bit of everything and enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Sounds like oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

Yeah, it's been it's about the trip. Somebody asked me what my definition of sex success was. And I said, Well, I think you have to look in a rearview mirror, and if you enjoyed the trip, you were successful. If you hated it, then you weren't successful, and it happens both ways.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Yeah, that's the audience. And there's a lesson in that we kind of went in the direction I didn't think we'd go. You had a mentor, or maybe a few. How important was having this mentor for young people listening?

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Uh you know what? When you going back to what you said about being an entrepreneur, I think it's absolutely necessary to have a mentor, um, a requirement. Um, somebody that's been there, somebody that's done that, it'll cut out a bunch of your anguish, okay? And you need a cheerleader, you need somebody that's positive and somebody that's going to pump you and keep you going. Um, there's enough stinking thinking out there to go around. You don't need to be listening to that, you know? And and so I I firmly believe, I mean, uh, Mr. Jenkins was a mentor. I mean, when I was 16, I can tell you stories about him that he that he taught me that have just stuck with me. My dad was an amazing salesperson, and I didn't even know it until after he passed away. You know what I mean? You learn all these things, and all of a sudden he's dead, and you you realize, oh my God, these things are coming back to me now, you know. Um, and then Mr. Uh you know, Stuart Arnold, I learned a whole lot about him. I mean, he made a ton of money. I know the secret sauce, I know how he did it, and it's an amazing story. So you mentors uh, I think are required. Yeah, you know, I don't think you can do it without a mentor. I believe that probably every successful billionaire that you've thought of probably had mentors. They may not talk about them, but they didn't get there by themselves.

unknown 17:02

No, no.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

I have a guy that was on my show before he's passed away. He was homeless three times and a billionaire four times. Yeah, there you go. They can grow rich, he just reached out to successful people and had them mentor him. So I love, love that.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

Go ahead. You know, you know what the biggest misconception is, I think, or one of the biggest misconceptions people have about wealthy people, or if you want to call it successful people, okay, because everybody's idea of success is different, but um, is that oh, I can't talk to him because he's a billionaire, or I can't talk to him. Do you know these people want to talk to you? Do you know they want to tell you their story? They're proud of what they did. They want to share with you everything, they're not keeping it to their hip. They've already made it, okay? And and the thing is, is that's why you should always, you know, don't look for people who are making less than you are and less successful as a mentor, because they're just gonna bring you down there. Look for people that are up here and then go even higher if you have to, you know. I mean, just always because everybody, you know, most everybody puts the pants on the same way, the one leg at a time, you know, regardless of how much money you have. And you would be surprised. And what's the worst that can happen? They say, No, I just don't have time. That's the worst that can happen.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Yeah, you're speaking my language, yeah. That's you're my brother from another mother. I say that all the time. Next, because I've reached out my podcast, you know, to people. I love that. And always, this is another big tip, even in sales. Yes, hey, oh I you know, no, I'm not interested. Okay, next. Thank you very much. Love them in business and move on. I I love this. You're definitely an expert. I've got to talk about the podcast because your title podcast is a game changer. Talk about the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

All right. Well, we just started this, and you know, and it's evolving, and you know, just like everything else. But um, I was um talking to uh one of my partners that's in the I refuse to fail, and he happens to be an Australian gentleman, and we were talking one day, and I said, you know, somebody ought to start a podcast where they're just sitting around shooting the shit about business. And he said, Hey mate, why don't I buy that domain, you know, shoot the shit.business podcast. And I said, I laughed. I said, Yeah, okay. So then we got to talking about it, and we talked about the, you know, how we wanted to do it. And um, we're not monetizing it. We're it's out there. I mean, people can watch it. It's you know, it'll be free. We've already got two, three episodes in the bag as of this date, and um uh, but it's gonna evolve. But basically, we're we're picking topics that sometimes are serious, but we try to bring some levity to it or stories, because I got a thousand stories, stories related to sales and marketing and success and failure and you know, everything. I I think our our first podcast we did was about having a strong support system, you know. And um, so it, you know, it the serious topics, but we're trying to make it where we're just all as if we just got off work, we're down to the local bar kicking one back and sitting there talking about, you know, but we we figured we'd call it the shoot the shit biz show. Number one, there's a shock factor there. People say, Oh my god, looks listen to what they said, but it'll get people's attention, you know. And uh, so we're hoping, you know, that that people start. Well, we're we're already getting quite a few views just on the you know initial uh rollout, but um, but uh but we're putting it together pretty well, I think. And as we're having fun, you know, that's that's the bottom line.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

You gotta have fun in business because business can be bad. You know that, I know that it'll happen just naturally. Having the fun part of it takes that all away.

SPEAKER_02 20:33

I say the same same thing about sales, that people make it too damn hard. I mean, it's really should be fun, you know. Selling, I I actually wrote a book I never published, okay? It was called Stop Selling and Start Making Money, okay. And um, because you know, because I think people just make it too difficult. I think it's fun.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Yeah, it's tied to the transaction, not tied to the person. Exactly. Because people don't realize you can meet me, I'm not your client, but I can give you 10 clients. Sometimes that one person you meet will give you more money and more clients than and you're not even selling me, you're selling me to my network. So I love that. So how it just changes? Go ahead. Uh, how can people find shoot the shit so we can build your subscribers?

SPEAKER_02 21:14

Well, right now you can go to YouTube and look up shoot the shit. Um, I um I don't have it right at hand uh to give you the URL, but if you just type in, well, believe it or not, that we found out there's a lot of shoot the shit on YouTube, but but um but if you look up the shoot the shit business podcast, well we should come up, okay, because they're SEOing all the videos and we've got shorts and and stuff in there. So um, but uh yeah, and then of course if somebody wants to contact me, they can and I'll be happy to give them the link. And and also to the IRefuse number two fail. You can go to irefuse to fail dot com. And there's a little video on there that explains a little bit about what I'm talking about, and you can sign up. It is by invitation only, by the way. Um, we're only basically doing North America, we're not doing the world, and um, and there's a reason for that. And uh, but uh you fill out this form and then I send you an invitation, and you can come to one or all the events, we don't care.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Yeah, and I love that it it's but particularly, you know, your invite only. It keeps when you have a community, you know, one bad apple, two bad apples can develop your community.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Everybody's experienced being Zoom bombed, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:23

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

We don't want that.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

So, how can people get a hold of you personally?

SPEAKER_02 22:28

Well, you can get a hold of me at info at irefuse to fail.com. But I also have another website, but that's really the best way to get a hold of me is through the I Refuse to Fail platform. I have my consultants website, but that's a little longer to get to.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Yeah, and they can reach you that way, and if they want questions about the consulting advising that you do. And I love the distinctions because you're not a coach. Here's a consultant, here's hey, I've got a question, you give me advice and move on. That's an advisor. A coach is you know every other week or weekly.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Yeah, I'm not holding people accountable. If they can't be accountable, I'll get them a coach.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Yeah, yeah. There you go. Perfect. So we're at the end here in kind of time flu. I've got one personal question always like that. No, sure. So if you dinner alive, if you could sit down for dinner, who would that be and why?

SPEAKER_02 23:21

If I could sit down to dinner, who would it be and why? Um it would probably be my father again. Nice. Um, the reason is is because I didn't realize all the knowledge he had had given me that then that I didn't realize until now. And I would like to sit down and pick his brain some more because I'm sure there was more in there that I didn't get, and also uh to thank him, you know, and that's that's really what I you know off the top of my head, that's all I can think of, you know.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

I love it. My dad was my mentor too, great businessman, like your dad. And unfortunately, we get older and they pass, and now's the time we're like, I wish we could just have that magic wand. Can I ask you a couple of questions? So I learned exactly.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

Yeah. I if I could go back again, I'd I, you know, because I hey listen, I'm older than water, but but I'm still learning, you know.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

The last part of that question is what kind of restaurant will you go to? What would you order?

SPEAKER_02 24:19

What kind of restaurant? It's always seafood. I enjoy seafood, and it really doesn't matter as long as it's fresh.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

Yeah, that's kind of important with seafood. I love that. Well, thank you, uh, Carl. This has been fun. This is like the ship doing business and podcasts. So we did. I love that. Thank you. And you educated people too and inspired them. And I like that. And don't forget my TV show. It's Fridays at 2 p.m. Pacific, 5 p.m. Eastern, uh, on uh Roku's uh Apple. You'll reach out, I'll get you a link. The link will be in the uh show notes, as well as all Carl's information. Don't forget, go through the show notes, you can click on the links and have access. And also, too, leave a uh a comment on YouTube and venture when he's on my podcast, too. If I see it and something you need to talk to him, I'll connect you guys as well. That's what a guy does when he's networking. And you know, as always, me and Carl, thank you for watching or listening to this podcast. And we'll see you on the next episode of Doing Business with a Service Art. Thank you all.