She Wrote 580 Handwritten Letters to Her Facebook Friends, and It Changed Everything | Amy Weinland Daughters

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Business with our servants' hearts. Servants home. Welcome to the podcast. Inspiration, motivation, takes. Servants. Listen to the podcast. We're all about to talk about life. Our guests will share their life story. We want you to success in life and business. We're ready and we will start shortly. We're gonna talk about life. We're gonna speak on business. You're gonna shine bright. We are gonna win Business with our servants' hearts. With host is deep from moderating Inspiration, education, false. Listen to the podcast from overall

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Welcome everyone to doing business with a servant's heart podcast. I'm your host, Steve Roner. I am so thrilled to have you join us today. This podcast is dedicated to exploring the idea of doing business and living life with a purpose, serving others and yes, achieving success. We believe when we approach our work and our lives with a servant's heart, we can truly make a difference. Boy, my guest is going to show you how she's made a difference. You're going to be blown away. We also created a show for you because I want everyone to be motivated, inspired, and educated to make an impact in your world. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a community leader, highly successful business owner, simply someone looking to build, bring purpose to your daily life. This podcast is here to support you. And I want to I want you to think about while you're listening to this incredible guest how you're going to serve today and what impact you'll create today. And the key is today. Let's not wait till tomorrow to make an impact in somebody's life. Today's episode is brought to you by our amazing sponsor, Pantheon Alliance. Imagine you're a high-income earning, highly successful business entrepreneur or owner and connecting with other highly successful business owners to grow your network and also to build events and grow all kinds of different things. That's what the Pantheon Alliance does. It's a referral marketplace for people that want to grow, scale, and help others. If you have any questions, please reach out to me at any time and I'll get more information for you. With that being said, I want to welcome Amy to our show.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Thank you so much. I'm thrilled to be on, Steve.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Well, we talked before the show. You've got so much to share and an incredible story. Uh, and I thank you again for being on. You talk about letter writing. What's the one rule about letter writing?

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Well, the number one rule, Steve, about letter writing is there are no rules. You cannot mess letter writing up. You know, all you really need, I think part of my story that's that that is off-putting is that I was a writer coming into my letter writing story, but I think it's a misnomer that you have to be a writer to be a letter writer. I think all you have to be is a human being with a heart and a pen to successfully write letters.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

What's a success, uh raillight success campaign look like?

SPEAKER_02 3:08

It it it I think it has to be shaped. My my story is crazy. I wrote a whole bunch of letters and it it's nutso. So I think it has to fit into your business or your life, you know, where it's if where it becomes a fabric, part of the fabric of your life. If you get up every morning and write a card or a note or a letter, if you do it on every Saturday, if you do it once a month, it has to fit into the fabric of your life. Uh I think it any kind of routine where there's going to be a handwritten letter, note, or card is going to be successful.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Tell your story of why you got into letter writing and the incredible story you have.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

Yeah, and you know, I like to frame it, and I was just minding my own business because I was. You know, I was a freelance writer, sports journalist. I'd written one book and I was on Facebook one day, and I thought about a friend I'd worked at at a summer camp in Texas, you know, 30 years ago. I was like, oh, I wonder what happened to Dana. She had this huge personality, and I do. We were loud and thought we were funny. So I put I type her name in Facebook and she pops up. Just like everybody else, I was like, oh, I'll friend her because it's it doesn't mean anything. So we her name was Dana. We become Facebook friends. I immediately look through her profile, I do my stalking that's required by law. And so I look at her page, and this this girl is overachieved in kids. She has five children, you know, four girls and one son. The son is the youngest, his name is Parker. And immediately I find out this kid is at St. Jude in Memphis, Tennessee, fighting uh for against cancer. You know, you know what that when they're at St. Jude, it's probably a a fight for his life. So as a human being, as a mom, as a person, I got involved in the story and I started watching from the background. I never liked or commented or anything, but I followed this this this precious family story. And this fellow mom watched, you know, along, kind of felt like I was overfeeling it, but I never got involved other than watching, you know, praying, you know, whatever. And so a year passes, he he goes into remission, Parker does, they go back to Louisiana, kind of goes back on a backburner in my consciousness. And, you know, later in 2015, he relapses and Dana gets online and says, We're going back to St. Jew. And I'm like, wow, man, that's gotta be just horrible. And so I sit down at my desk, Steve, and like a thunderbolt out of the sky hits me. I was like, you know what, I'm gonna start doing? And it wasn't just an idea, it was like a, it was like a just gut instinct, adrenaline. I was like, I'm gonna start writing her letters at the Ronald McDonald house in Memphis. And I had not never written anybody, I hadn't written anybody a letter in decades. I was like everybody else I'd written growing up at summer camp and college and all those things like we did. So I'm not a I wasn't a letter writer at the time. And I hadn't talked to this woman in 30 years. I'd never met her son. But the next day I get a card and I start writing, dear Dana, dear Parker, and I start writing them letters once a week. Once a week, I'm writing these two strangers and I realized this was a little off, probably, you know, like I was going a little bit too far, but I just couldn't stop myself. And I wrote Dana and Parker for probably eight to 10 weeks and didn't hear back from them at all. And then I go online one Sunday after church, and there's this long paragraph post from Dana, and Parker at only 15 has passed away. Um, devastating. And there's no words for that, and it had nothing to do with me. But I sat down and I was like, boy, well, you know, what am I supposed to do? Because I felt so called to this whole letter writing thing. So I sent a condolence card about a week later, I was like, what it was like another thunderbolt, but a smaller one. I was like, you know what I'm gonna do? And I realized it was crazy. I'm just gonna keep writing her. Only this time, since it was a Facebook friend, like, where does she even live in Louisiana? So I got to figure that out. I kind of stalked some more. I found her husband's office address. And crazily, I just I just started writing her again once a week. I had a writing schedule, and so I write her every Sunday and mail it on Monday. And this went on for four months, me the whole time saying, What are you even doing? I'd be like, I'm praying for you, I'm thinking of you. And the whole time I'm thinking, this woman has lost her son. I am a stranger, but I could not stop myself. It was, it was just I couldn't stop. And four months in, I go to my mailbox, I pull out a 10-page letter from Dana. She had written me back, and she had told me about her grief and her situation or about her kids and about what was going on. And this kicks off, Steve, two years of me and this woman writing each other letters. We don't call, we don't text, I don't have her email address. It was the most sacred space, and it was profoundly moving because I didn't know what she was reading, what I wrote. I had no idea when she was reading my stuff. She opened up about her grief. I looked at my life from the outside in. We developed this amazing trust. And the most beautiful thing was I had no idea whether she was a Democrat or Republican. I I knew that she she had asked her prayers, so I figured she had some kind of religious component to her life, but who knew if she was a Baptist or a Methodist or a Buddhist or I had no idea. And I, nor did I care. All I cared is about this was somebody who I was connected to in this very intimate way that I was going to share with. And I'll tell you what, about eight months into that, of this two-way exchange, I sat back and I said, wow, if my life can be blown up by this one random girl from Louisiana who I don't even really know, what else is on this list of people's names on Facebook? So I then I went next level. I went all world metso and I put everyone's name in a spreadsheet and I printed it out. I put everybody's name in little slits of paper, I shoved them all to a box, I bought stationery with my name on it, your Facebook friend, and I start pulling these names out every day. And I journaled this thing, not ever thinking I'm gonna finish writing all these people letters. But in 18 months, Steve, I wrote 580 handwritten letters to people who I knew, and it's so relatable because we all have this list of friends, to people I knew from sixth grade, who I danced at a wedding with, my cousin's cousin's friend. I wrote all these letters and it blew up my life and my perspective. And now I'm just a girl who wants to talk about letter writing.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

What an amazing story. One movement of working with this yet this lady, Dana, has led to this spurring off your career completely. This is completely off your career, right? It wasn't your career path.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

No, no, never. I, you know, I had written the one book, never intended to write a book about the about Dana and the letters, but I got about three quarters through writing the letters and I understood that I had something special, someone that I had been given the story, you know, and yes to sell books and yes to, but more than anything, this story of hope and the story we the power we have as human beings to connect to each other in a meaningful way. And this can be this story can be pivoted in so many different ways to fit so many different discussions and conversations.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Absolutely, and you broke a record. I thought I knew everywhere we can serve people in the audience. As I talk about, you don't know how to serve, write a letter to somebody. What you did is a servant's heart in a unique way. I just you just blow me away because it's I'm gonna use that. I'm gonna share with people because I get all the time. How do I serve? Write a letter to somebody, so powerful. Talk about Amy's daughter, Amy Daughters, your your program and what it's all about.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Well, you know, my program was, you know, writing about sports and you know, uh a freelance writer, but I but I think now uh I think I'm I I like to think of myself as the spreader of hope, you know, because we we have this opportunity with one another to spread hope for 66 cents in about 15 minutes of our time. And I think that's I think that's what I'm about now. And the great thing is, though it is a very personal thing that can be done within the confines of a personal relationship, there's also, and I realize this is a business podcast. And the first time I did a couple that I did a couple business podcasts, I did a the first one I did was like a real estate, and I was like, how do I fit in here? And I realized that this is a tool, and it is a tool that we can use because business is relationally based, just like you know, anything else in life, and is a tool to show you can go upwards in an organization, downwards, you can go sideways, customer facing, you know, it can build relationships, build referrals, build because it is the most sincere form of communication, of appreciation, of support, of congratulations, of I see you, of all those things. So it can be used in the personal confine, in the business compound. So I think I'm about spreading this message because I think all it does is bring us together instead of tear us apart.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

No, absolutely. And I even think if you don't have time to write it, but all your clients, I know there's programs out there that you can send a postcard. I do that for my podcast, is you know, here, thank you for being on. You're such a blessing. The unique delivery of this, right? We don't get in the mail, right?

SPEAKER_02 11:52

Right. And I tell people all the time, you know, and that's the other thing, the story's overwhelming. There's 600 letters, they were two pages. That's that that has nothing to do with with the function of letter writing. It can be a sticky note with six sentences on it. Two sentences, like you said, you're such a blessing. Thank you. You know, congratulations, you knocked it out of the park yesterday. Um, I I'm just sitting here thinking about the time you helped me two years ago. And, you know, happy birthday. It it can be done in two sentences, once a week, once a month. And I guarantee you'll create this moment at a mailbox, at an inbox that you cannot believe. And I know this because I did it 600 times. Because people are gonna hold that, they're gonna hold it in their hands. And what they're gonna realize is, Steve, Steve took the time to sit down. He had to find a pen, he had to find paper, wait, where are the stamps? And then Steve had to get in his minivan and drive to the post box and drop that in. And somebody's gonna hold whatever it is you sent in their hand, and here's what they're gonna think. Oh my god, I matter to another human being. And I tell you what, you are gonna blow up their heart and you never knew you could do it because I'm I I went into this whole thing so non-intentionally, and I did not realize the power we all have in our hands to do this because we live in this world where we're pretty sure we're we've isolated ourselves, not not because we wanted to, but because I think that's kind of what social media, which is such a great jump off point for relationships, but that's what it does. But but we have this power. The number one thing people said to me after all these letters was the number one takeaway was I'm gonna save your letter, you know, somewhere in my house for the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

No, it's powerful. My best friend Mike, shout out to Mike, who spoke at my dad's funeral. I still have the letter he wrote, the speech he did. He gave me the letter, and you're right, it it's it's like a picture, but just words. It's powerful what you're doing. But does there any negative takeaways of doing all this?

SPEAKER_02 13:51

Oh, oh, absolutely. You know, one, you know, I didn't have any really negative interactions, and that leads to my theory that there's really no wrong way to write a letter. Because if you, you know, and people ask all the time, so what do you say? Well, I think it's really easy because just by nature, I like what are you even gonna say to somebody from junior high school? Well, the first thing I would do is go look at their Facebook profile, and then all of a sudden I'd be like, let's say you and I had, you know, we're in junior high school band together. Well, I go look at your profile, be like, Oh, oh my God, look at Steve's podcast, look at this, you know, doing business with a servant's heart. So the first thing I'm gonna do is like, Steve, I'm proud of you, man. You know, we played you, you were playing the clarinet and I was playing the flute, and we were, you know, but but look at you. And I then so that'd be the second, and then the second thing I would do, I'd be like, Steve, remember when, you know, what's his name picked on me and was mean to me, you know, at the lunch table by, you know, by the vending machine, and you were like, hey, you know, you're gonna be fine. You're awesome, you're amazing, Amy, you know, and I'm I I could tell you, then I get a chance to thank you and say, you know, I I the rest of my life I've thought about that. That's really had meaning to me. So, you know, it's really easy if you look at some who somebody really is, you consider their real life and to consider who they are to you, to know what to put in three lines in a letter. You know, it becomes pretty, it becomes pretty simple, you know. But it's is and so that's why by and large it was positive. Not because I'm a great writer, it was just all done naturally, kind of organically. But I think the negative part for me was if you think about this, I opened the door to 580 human beings and said, I'm your friend and you mean something to me. Well, there's no way in the world I could have kept up with that. And there was a lot of interactions, people really opened up to me and I felt guilty because I could not keep up as a real friend could should with all those relationships. You know, I can dip in and dip out, but you know, I and I never believed a million years I would have felt guilty, but I still feel guilty about not being able to keep that door open with all of those people.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

So, what I'm hearing too is don't overthink this. Write your letter when it first comes to your head, hey, thanks for playing football with me. You were a great teammate, Steve. As simple as that, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:58

As simple as that. And it don't overthink it, it is just tremendous advice because I think that it it puts you in a vulnerable position writing a letter, writing a handwritten note. It does because you and I did this over and over again. I'd sit over a letter and be like, oh my God. And I'd write my journal. I cannot believe I'm gonna write Miss Atwood from fourth grade. I'm, you know, I've lost my mind over and over again. I I just could not believe what it meant to people. And it just has to be a product of who you are, and that's good enough. That's what people want. That's what the authenticity, and then people talk about their handwriting and their misspelling all the time. Guys, that's even better because you can't filter it, you can't fix it. You're a human and you're letting somebody else know with your humanness. Hey, it's okay to be just the way you are. And I it just I cannot tell you when you start dropping letters into blue boxes or notes or one sentence in a target card, it will change your life more than it will change your recipients' lives.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Yeah, I just think when you start your podcast, USPS needs to be your sponsor because you're bringing them a lot of blue boxes full of letters. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

Well, they did the um uh article on me. That was probably my biggest, my favorite media hit, the the postal service, their employee, like they have this huge newsletter that goes out to everybody. So the people in Washington called and interviewed me. And I'm a I mean, I'm after all of this, I'm a huge supporter of the post office, and I got so many neat messages from mail carriers. And I'll tell you what, Steve, it just made my entire life because those people, and I got to tell them you're delivering the hope. Y'all are the deliverers of the hope.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

Yeah, that's that it's such a powerful message. When writing a letter, is there a time frame that you felt was best once a week, like you were doing with Dana, once a month, or is that just individual?

SPEAKER_02 17:47

Yeah, I think it's got to fit into you know the fabric of your life. I will say for me, I still get up every morning. When I sit down at my desk, the first thing I do is write somebody a note. Because I it's it's to me, I can't stop doing it now because it's so it reminds me every day that I can do something positive before I start my day. I can make an impact on this divisive world that we live in. And it honors the story of Dana M. Parker. It honors my experience and what I know to be, you know, something good that I can do. But I think if you can make, if you can fit it, it's like exercise. If you could find a way to fit it into the fabric of your life, it it will it will transform you in a way, you know, even in the context of a business, because I use it for that too in my writing. You know, I use it to thank people, like you said, but it will transform the way you feel about yourself and your day. So if you could get up every morning, like Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Tuesday, Thursday, and then allow yourself to be two sentences, or if you need three pages, that's fine. Allow to do it in the confines of what works for you.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Well, I think for business, there's a lot of plays here, like right off the bat, once a month, you have a team, write a letter to all your clients. Yeah, if you have 10,000 clients, this might be not B feasible. You got 20, 30, 50 clients, you spend 30 minutes a day writing letters to your clients. Thank you for being a great client. We're here to support you, you know, reach out, you know, something like that. When they get in the mail, it's so different.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Oh, yeah, they're gonna be like, can you imagine this guy just he's took the time? That's how much I mean to them as a customer. And that's why, and I've seen this a lot because I've worked with a lot of organizations, but you know, telling your employees, telling your coworkers, you know, telling people you work with in another company. It just has it it strengthens the relationship. And you talk about things like um retention, you know, you talk retention in an organization. This is a tool that you can use that doesn't cost you anything to uh other than your time, you know, and sincerity to to it's better than an evaluation. It's better than it just has so many, and it does not, again, it can be done in one sentence, one and none. You're you're out, and people will people will put that on. That's what people have told me. It's sitting on their desk. They have it sitting out on their desk, they have it attached to their, you know, their bulletin board. That that's how much it means. They will take it with them when they leave. And they may not leave because they feel invested because of what you said to them.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Attention, I was off the track. I mean, I can see CEOs write notes, you know, piece of paper. Hey, thank you for being a great employee. I mean, there's so many plays business-wise to do this without affecting the process of the company or the time needed because it could just be simple notes. Uh man, this is this is really cool.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

And it and it fits into your narrative, Steve, so well because yeah, it it it's it's combining, you know, something professional, organizational, you know, business with uh and it is a servant's heart. Do it taking that time to do the I'm not speaking to myself, I'm speaking to the the art of note writing or letter writing as a bigger picture. It is an act of service, you know, and it is it's done for the person who you are giving it to. It's just the the plot twist is you're the one who gets to be the most changed, the one who wrote it.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

No, and you can do it with an email, and that's good, but this is just another step. I know I always tell people bring more value than the work, bring value and just bring a little bit more. And this is that little bit more instead of sending an email. I'm gonna write a letter to somebody or this person or whatever it may be. You know, the nice thing is try it, costs you 66 cents, see what happens. Just write one person, see what happens.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

That's exactly talk about your book. You're so excited about your book, and I love that you're excited.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

Right, yeah, it's called Dear Dana. That time I went crazy and wrote all 580 of my Facebook friends a handwritten letter, which is also the longest uh subtitle, Steve, in publishing history, I think. But uh we're proud that it made it through the publishing people. But and it it basically tells the story. It starts with Dana and I, you know, tells that story of us reconnecting. It's got her words in there, my words in there. And then about halfway through, it it twists to where I decide to write the Facebook letters, and then it takes 52 really short lessons I learned. From writing the 580 letters. And, you know, it uses the letters and just takeaways. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Here's here's what I learned. And it's, you know, I wrote it. I'm proud of it because it's a story that it happened to me. But I think, you know, the highest compliment I got was from Dana herself. And she said, you know, you won't read it and not walk away wanting to be a better person. And that's that's the highest praise.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

So the audience, she's a servant's heart. What she just said, she's done, you can do, make a change in your life. We're coming to the end here. Um, you speak around. What do you speak about when you speak around the country?

SPEAKER_02 22:38

I speak about letter writing. I speak about divisiveness and and utilizing letter writing to um, you know, reconnect with people and to look past the divide and the differences. Kind of that lesson I learned from Dana that I learned over and over again from people like it matters what we believe, it matters how we voted, it matters where we stand. But when you reach out to somebody with nothing but goodwill on the line and they reply in kind, then suddenly all those things that separate us, though they still remain, they start to dissipate. And so that's what I speak about. I do workshops where we actually write letters. Um, but that's basically what I speak about. And as you said earlier in the in the call, you know, who would have ever thought that the the girl who was doing something else three years ago now cannot cannot shut up about letter writing. And I hadn't written a letter in 30 years.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

So yeah, the other lesson that you're teaching so well, Amy, is take action. If you never took action, had down, oh my god, you sent that first letter and it just led to this. That leads across people's lives and business. Just take action. Worst thing is you pivot, and if it didn't work, you wouldn't be talking today, but you would have found something else. So audience, that's the greatest lesson. Take action and look what happened. Powerful things can happen. I love ending the show with this question to learn more about Amy and what you're all about. So we have a restaurant, there's a table of four. You occupy one table, one seat. Who would sit in the other three seats, dead or alive, and why? But I think the most important question is what food would you order for that table?

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Oh wow, what a great question. Um, I would have at my table, um, I would have Parker, who passed away, who I'd never met in person. Um, and I would have him sitting there for sure. And then I believe I would have um my father, who was also no longer with us, and missed both of my books and all of the stories. And then the fourth person would be difficult, but I think I would have I'm a history person, so I'm gonna have somebody from history called back up. Um I think I would have Abraham Lincoln. It's kind of an interesting mix with that group, though.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Yeah, Lincoln's a lead Jesus and Lincoln are the leader of the pack. It's yeah, plenty of people love and I do love Lincoln too.

unknown 25:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

What food are we ordering? What were what are we eating?

SPEAKER_02 25:11

I think we're going to have. I'd almost want to get Lincoln pizza, you know, because you know, he probably hadn't had that before, you know, or chicken wings, you know. But but I think I'm gonna go with, I think I would go with fajitas. Oh, very good fajitas from a place in Houston called Lupe Tordia, which is the finest beef known to man. And because I would treat them because I would feel like that's the best food I could offer.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

Oh, that's fantastic. So, how can people reach out to you?

SPEAKER_02 25:40

Um, my website is amidaughters.com. Um, my email address is there, my mailing address is there, um, my story's there. I love to hear from people about letter writing, about connecting, about sports, about you know, whatever. But I'd love to recon, you know, to connect with any of your audience members. If you write me, I will write you back. Um, I would love that. If that that could be your first letter, uh if anybody wants to reach out to me. But all things amyamidaughters.com.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

That's fantastic. You're a true blessing. This has been an incredible show. You've really, it's just amazing how these things pop up out of the blue, you know, just writing that one layer. Look what's happening. So there's always hope for you people out there in the audience. Faith and hope is so much there. And I you brought it in tenfold today, and I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

Thank you, Steve. It's an honor to be on your podcast. And I and I really respect all the work you're doing, all the good you're pumping out into the world, and to be a small part of that. I'm it's an honor. So very humbling. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

Oh, that's so appreciated. Don't forget about my TV show, Together We Serve, every Friday at 2 p.m. Pacific, 5 p.m. Eastern. Uh, you get on uh the Apple TV, Roku, get this big mug on your 70-inch screen, but you'll look at the guests more in my big mug. It's a great, it takes this next the podcast to another level. And I got a secret. Uh, I'm gonna be uh invite Amy to the TV show. She doesn't know that yet, but we're gonna have her as a guest because uh this has got to get out to the world and more and more people. And Amy, we want to thank you so much for watching and listening to this podcast. And we look forward to seeing you on the next episode of Doing Business with a Service Hire. Thank you.